Saturday, October 26, 2013

Why Petty...

Is it me...? Or something arguing over something petty hurts?

 Today happened to start out great. I went hiking with two girlfriends. I got to facetime with mac a bit; until my phone said 10 percent. So I asked him to call back in a few hours as I was hiking. He was all for it. Well, my hike continued a bit over two hours. So when it was over I hurried home. I made it home and continued to charge my phone. I told him I had to go to the bathroom and I'd be ready. So I did. I didn't hear from him for a while, ok fine maybe he went to bed. Well, about two hours later he messages sorry, I just got internet again. That was awesome. So, Mac and I facetimed again. This time it didn't last very long.

 Well, of course we started talking. I went into to talking about how I needed to go grocery shopping we have nothing. I haven't done major grocery shopping like we do. Well, I don't think he liked that........ I heard nothing on his end for a while. He put his camera on pause. So I ended the conversation, 1) sound was going in and out 2) he didn't seem like he wanted to talk.....

 Boy, was I almost right. From that point forward our messages dealt with how I didn't go shopping.  He was asking if I haven't been eating good or at all for that matter, what I was eating, how often I ate when I was staying at my moms. That was all. I answered all his questions. I've been eating. I even told him I really don't want to argue about this. He went on to say it's unhealthy. I never went grocery shopping like we did because it all goes bad before I eat it. After a bit of silence, I told him to enjoy his last night there & I loved him & would talk to him later. I received "I can talk I just don't know what to say."  Of course, my response, Yeah, I can see that. And that's not usually like you. Finally the response that hit me: Just another thing to add on to the stress list. I'll be alright.

 I have never felt crappier in my life. I thought I was doing what was best for me what was the most efficient way for me to live while he is overseas. 229 days later, not once have I ever felt this way. After an hour of nothing I receive "I'll talk to you tomorrow" few minutes later "love u." I don't even know how to explain my emotions right now. It hurts though. Am I nuts for feeling this way? I mean am I over reacting? Our conversations are usually great. I treasure every moment we have to talk. This one just didn't seem right. It stings, it hurts, and I don't know.

 Please opinions? Am I nuts/ over reacting?

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