It's official! It has been five months since mac and I have been separated by seas. It's been tough. I have had my ups and downs. I have had times where I couldn't even face the outside, let alone talk to many people. There has been times he has called and it took every once of strength I had not to cry. They were not bad tears. Just relief tears, I got to hear his voice. Or the fact we have came this far. It's hard to please. When I say five months it doesn't seem like a long time. It's been 153 days! I couldn't be more proud of the sacrifices we have made as a couple. I am extremely proud of him after all the bumps we have hit and things that have happened, he still stays strong.
I have a new respect for the military families. As I have probably already wrote, I grew up in a mainly military area. We have Air Force, Marines, and Navy all in one little area. My family wasn't military, matter of fact in school we always had these cards we had to fill out and return. There were two different colors, one for military and one for nonmilitary. All the schools I went to I really didn't see many nonmilitary. Back to my point, I watched families deal with loved ones coming and going. I dealt with friends moving away, some of which I was very close with. But never did I truly understand how they felt.
When I was just Mac's girlfriend, it was rough. There are few things I couldn't do then that I can now. I could not go visit him for duty days or bring him anything that he may have forgotten. Heck, I couldn't even get on base. There were times I didn't even know what was going on. I remember one incident where there was a nor'easter and his ship pulled out for it. They were due back like a week or so after the storm left. Well that changed and I had no idea. He couldn't even tell me. He came home about 2 or 3 weeks later. But I had found out because the news mentioned where they were. They were giving relief to another state.
Now as a wife, I get a bit more information. But there was so much I didn't know that spouse/girlfriends/fiances may have to handle alone. We have to be stronger than most people to survive this. I understand why it's hard to have "civilian friends". It always use to bother me when someone would say I can't be around my "civilian friends". But now I understand, it is hard for them to relate. There was so much I took for granted. Now I am extremely happy to receive an email. That means more than anything. Even if it is just a hey, I love you. That is enough to keep me going.
I wouldn't change anything we have been through to this day. Each and every step has lead us on the path we are today :)
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." <3
Now that there is double digits to go I have so much to do before than!! Better get moving :)