Monday, August 5, 2013

~Rest in Peace - Friday August 2nd, 2013~

Rest In Peace, Always be Missed but Never Forgotten

A way for me to move on.. If you read the blog completely Thank you for listening to my emotional babble. 

Rest in Peace, August 2, 2013.

This was Princess, she was 11 or 12 years old. I had rescued her from the SPCA. She came from a litter of four and was the runt. When we visited her and the others she came directly to me, that is how we knew she was the right one. So we brought her home shortly after she had been fixed. She was with me for about 11 years and four moves.

When she came home, we lived in a two story house. she stayed in my room for a week or two; then we decided to open the door. Of course she really never came out, maybe for a few minutes. But if something moved she ran back upstairs and to the bedroom. She rarely took to others. Princess really only took to my mom and myself. Maybe a few friends.

Well about 5 or 6 years later we moved. It was a one story house. Of course by that time we had acquired two dogs a dachshund and a T Chihuahua. Princess never really took to them. so when they came around her she would pop them, sometimes with nails. They eventually had a mutual thing where they would stop and let her walk around them. Eventually she began to come out a bit more. She even put her tail in J.R's(step dad) food. My mom and I think she didn't like him. Princess has never taken to men. While living here, in 2010 I started dating mac. She took to him right away.

Mac and I moved in together in 2011. She made a decent trip for not ever really going in a car. We lived in an apartment and Princess mainly stayed in the bedroom away from our dog (1 in the beginning). We got our second dog in July and she still hated dogs. She loved mac even slept above his head sometimes.

2012, we moved, well transferred to a town house. She came with of course. Her "safe zone" was either the bedroom or the bathroom upstairs. A baby gate was put up at the top of the stairs, this way the dogs would leave her alone. There as a big enough gap for her to slide under. She also had hiding spots I never found.

Now if you have been following my blog she had a mass removed back in June. I only found that out because she sat on the arm of the couch (DOWNSTAIRS), slept downstairs, everything downstairs. We later found out it was cancer, a very rare type. So now it was just a matter of time. The vet said my options were radiation, amputation, or leave it. (The removed the most they could.)

So it was a matter of making comfortable. And that I did. Since being free (from cone and cage) she had been downstairs.  I knew it was too good to be true. After 10 years she was downstairs, there was more I was just denying it. She even sat on the table while I sat on the couch (NEAR DOGS). She NEVER liked the dogs near her. So that was a Red Flag.

Well it had only been a month and a few days since the procedure. Thursday August 1st, was probably something I will never forget. It was the worse thing I have ever seen. She looked like she was in so much pain. Princess was sitting on the table, as "usual".  She looked at me all paws stretch so you could see the web, her head went back, body went forward, and she then flipped of the table, not landing on her feet. I picked her up she laid in my lap for about 20-30 mins on the couch (never have done that). She got off of me, the next thing I knew she was by the dog cages. She looked as if she was panting just about. So I took her upstairs, in hopes she need or would drink the water. She declined and laid there. Of course I couldn't do anything. So I let her rest on the counter top (still worried).

Well, that brings me to Friday the 2nd. I got up and left for work around 5am. Got home about 8, let the dogs out of their cages. Roxy was acting a bit weird, she kept running up and down the stairs then would jump on me, this repeated a bit. Zoey had been calm, laid down, tail down, overall sad look. So the third time Roxy jumped on me I decided to brush her. What originally turned into getting a brush turned into a nightmare.

I go upstairs expecting a meow......

Nothing, so I looked towards the bathroom. The dogs, by that time where at the door. I saw her!!! She didn't even move when the dogs got close. I looked down, I knew something was wrong. But I touched her anyways. I immediately broke into tears, she was stiff. I ran downstairs to get the phone. Called my mom in tears sitting on the floor, right next to the bathroom door. She could barely understand me. But she knew! So she came, she called my grandma and canceled plans to help me! I appreciated it! My mom wrapped her in a blanket, put her in the carrier and went to the vet with me. We dropped her off, I couldn't decide if I wanted to keep her ashes or not. So I decided to get them, if I can't handle them I will deal with it then. My mom even cleaned up all her things for me and put them in the dumpster. I couldn't do it. She even cleaned the bathroom.

Thank you mom for helping me!

Things will never be the same..... I will always miss her. Even the dogs feel something is wrong, I know we will adjust. Until then we will take it a day at a time.

Princess will be missed and never be forgotten.

This may seem nuts to write all of this for an animal. But it really isn't. This is my way of moving on. And she was a big part of my life :). She is now pain free and in a better place. I wouldn't have it any other way.

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