Thursday, August 8, 2013

Darkest Skies have the Brightest Stars

They say there is always light at the end of a dark tunnel. I'm a positive person, but his just keeps getting harder right now. I'm telling myself it is up to me to the best out of it, one day closer, we are finally in double digits somewhere, or something. But right now it's not working so well.

This past weekend has been the hardest weekend since mac left. I'm not saying things aren't hard any other day. but lately they are just adding up. He called for a little today, I was excited to hear his voice. It made things better. But towards the end of the conversation talking about everything that has happened since we last talked. It was hard. It took every once of strength not to cry. I can't wait for this to be over.

I know we are almost there, but why does it seem harder now. Maybe I'm just being a little emotional. As soon as I can clear my mind and see past the emotions right now, I will be able to see the brightness again. I just have to let it out right now. The emotional toll this week has brought to me alone, I never really mourned or processed what the doctor said. So telling mac on the phone, really made it real. I could tell everyone but telling him(over the phone) makes it feel more real.

So now, I will rest a bit, maybe take the dogs for a walk. Or even go for a swim.  Clear my head :)
I will be better in a few hours!

Thanks for reading,
<3 Amanda

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